When We Hide How We Feel

By Kaitlyn Lewis, LPC

Amid the costumes, jack-o’-lanterns, and haunted decorations, October is also a month that reminds us of the emotions we sometimes hide. Just like we might wear a mask for Halloween, we can find ourselves masking how we truly feel in our daily lives whether  by smiling when we’re stressed, saying we’re fine when we’re not, or keeping our worries tucked away. It can be exhausting to push through emotions when we think we need to appear strong or tough. 

Why We Mask Our Emotions

Masking emotions can serve an important purpose. It can help us navigate social situations, protect ourselves from judgment, or manage stress in the moment. But when masking becomes a habit, it can also create distance between how we feel and how we live. Over time, hiding our emotions can lead to increased stress, fatigue, and a sense of disconnection from ourselves and others.

Recognizing the Mask

The first step in understanding masking is noticing when we do it. Are there moments when you automatically smile to hide sadness, laugh to cover anxiety, or stay quiet to avoid conflict? Becoming aware of these patterns is not about judgment, but about understanding how we cope and learning where we might need support.

Creating Safe Spaces

One of the most powerful ways to reduce the need to mask is by creating safe spaces for ourselves and with others. Trusted friends, family, or support groups can provide environments where it feels okay to show vulnerability. Even small steps, like sharing a feeling with one supportive person or journaling honestly about your emotions, can help us feel seen and understood.

Practicing Self-Compassion

Masking often comes from a place of wanting to protect ourselves or others, but self-compassion allows us to meet our emotions with care instead of judgment. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel what you feel. Giving yourself permission to be honest with your emotions is a form of strength, not weakness.